• Home
  • Contact
  • Home
  • Contact
Facebook Twitter Instagram Youtube Linkedin

Now Showing:

Davos: A one-moron play in three acts

Following the disgrace that befell us all at Davos, let us be clear-eyed about this. We are now beyond parody. Beyond satire. This is neither drift nor decline. This is the most unqualified and ignorant president in American history by design. First he creates a crisis, then he TACOs, and now we await the toddler-tantrum.
It is no accident that he is bigoted. Uninformed. Sexist. Xenophobic. Simply wrong.
He is the embodiment of his support: the resentment, self-hatred, victimhood, rage, bullying and yet also delight of ‘his people’. Perhaps you, the MAGA moron who is perversely proud that you are endangering yourselves, your neighbors, and the world.
That he is a man with the intellectual and emotional maturity of a toddler, mentally ill, a pathological liar who lies even about his own lies, is the desired outcome, not some accident of his obvious stupidity or senility. The venality, the toadying lackies born on third base who think they’re hitting a home run every day, The murderous intent, all from a group of people who were bullied so badly in high school that they need to take their revenge at scale.
It is no longer a question of left vs right, democratic vs authoritarian, or even smart vs stupid. It is, quite simply, right vs wrong.
Congress is a co-equal branch of government. History will record your next move, Senators and Representatives, for good or for ill.
History will remember this moment.
For good. Or for ill.

Why Somalis?

While your government continues to repeat easily-repudiated lies about the latest killing, our Dear Leader is wondering why people aren’t more focused on the ‘Somali Fraud’, perpetrated by Aimee Bock, a white Republican. Thankfully we know that it has nothing to do with our never-vengeful President being sexually rejected by Somali supermodel Iman in 1990. (Swipe/scroll for more >)

Profiles in Cowardice

A 7-hander play featuring Democrat Reps Don Davis of North Carolina, Tom Suozzi of New York, Henry Cuellar of Texas, Vicente Gonzalez of Texas, Laura Gillen of New York, Marie Gluesenkamp Perez of Washington and Jared Golden of Maine who all voted to fund the regime’s Gestapo. Hopefully a career-ending play. (Swipe/scroll for more >)

Murder in Minnesota

The President’s untrained moronic thugs in the new Federal mobster-Gestapo have done it again. Again, the only safe place to be in America right now is in the Epstein Files. (Swipe/scroll for more >)

Star Wars – Episode X

The latest instalment in the Star Wars Saga sees a reincarnated Emperor Palpatine join Trump’s prestigious Board of Peace, where he is joined by Lex Luthor, Doctor Doom, Bibi Netanyahu and the Crown Prince of Saudi Arabia. (Swipe/scroll for more >)

 

Saucy Jeff – a Rock ‘n’ Roll musical

A new adaptation of the St. Hubbins/Smalls-penned rock opera “Saucy Jack” brings this musical about friendship and sex crimes right up to date in the new location of Little Saint James, featuring Jeffrey Epstein as the protagonist. Starring Gary Busey as the President. Adapted by beloved genius Marti di Bergi and produced by E. Jean Carroll. (Swipe/scroll for more >)

Frozen on Ice (2026)

This Disney remake features a rambling speech by a demented senile old moron who has never looked at a map, confusing Greenland with Iceland three times in one speech. (Swipe/scroll for more >)

Wigs of the 17th & 18th Centuries (part 2)

An exhibition of the wigs worn by the founding fathers. The reason wigs were so prevalent in this era is because of rampant syphilis, which not only makes men go bald prematurely, it also makes them psychotically immune to empathy. It particularly affected very stupid men with zero understanding of anything but their own narcissism. Fortunately they can now use a comb-over. (Swipe/scroll for more >)

Wigs of the 17th & 18th Centuries (part 1)

An exhibition of the wigs worn by the founding fathers. The reason wigs were so prevalent in this era is because of rampant syphilis, which not only makes men go bald prematurely, it also makes them psychotically immune to empathy. It particularly affected very short men with no moral compass in the first place. Fortunately they can now procure spray-on hair. (Swipe/scroll for more >)

From The Team

We’d like to thank everyone for their support – we’ve been blown away by the number of Ko-Fi donations. Our mailbag is roughly 90% supportive. But we have noticed a slight uptick in hate mail, we assume a MAGA account has picked up on us. Consequently we would like to offer a heartfelt apology to those offended – if we knew y’all could read, we might have been kinder. (Swipe/scroll for more >)

Fallout: The Musical

In this theatrical adaptation of the post-apocalyptic video game & Amazon TV franchise, the USA becomes a desolate wasteland after the EU & UK offload the $8 trillion of US debt they hold, all at once. (Swipe/scroll for more >)

Cancellation: Annual Clown Parade

Regretfully, we have had to cancel this year’s annual Clown Parade. Sadly, we couldn’t find enough clowns this year, as they are all working for the White House’s Foreign Policy Unit. (Swipe/scroll for more >)

The Fashions of ICE and the CBP

An exhibition of the style and flair of our talented fascist thugs Federal agents. Featuring much more of the ‘Punisher’ logo than should be legal outside of a late-90s teenager’s basement. Masks and tac-gear are available to buy, including in child sizes ages 10-12 (as modelled here by Kommandant Greg Bovino). (Swipe/scroll for more >)

Trump-Kennedy Center Honors Continue

The awards ceremony continues with our ‘Technical Honors’, awarding the President for ‘Most Unusually Quickly Healed Ear”. Sponsored by Ben Nye Stage Blood and followed by a screening of the Time Robbins classic movie ‘Bob Roberts’. (Swipe/scroll for more >)

Snowflake Demands Participation Prize

After presenting President Trump with the Nobel Peace Prize that is rightfully his, María Corina Machado demanded that she receive the Venezuelan Presidency as her consolation prize. That is what the headline is about, right? (Swipe/scroll for more >)

Extremism Outreach Programs

Something we are very proud of at the Trump-Kennedy Center are our cultural & arts outreach programs against vile, racist and violent extremism. Since last summer we are proud to announce that we have reduced the number of people enrolled in violent white nationalist groups like the Proud Boys and Oathkeepers by 12,000. Entirely coincidentally, the Federal government has added 12,000 ICE officers in the same period. (Swipe/scroll for more >)

Presidential Decorum

From JFK’s “Ask not what your country can do for you—ask what you can do for your country” through to our current Dear Leader’s “Fuck you”, Presidents have always used powerful oratory to win over the hearts and minds of the ordinary Joe. (Swipe/scroll for more >)

Limitless

ICE agents acting with impunity, breaking international laws, indicting a Fed chairman you don’t like (and forgot you appointed). Limitless is the only kind of power to be had. Now showing in the Eric Trump Cinema (down the corridor, past the basement, through the puddles of aircon coolant and the first door on your far-right. Minimum Trumpcoin purchase of all your life-savings required for entry.) (Swipe/scroll for more >)

An Honored Announcement

Given our recent history, it is our honor to be the first to announce that, following the DOJ’s indictment of Jerome Powell, the Federal Reserve is to be officially renamed the Donald J. Trump Federal Reserve for Hiding Financial Crimes. (Swipe/scroll for more >)

The Niyazov Effect

A short play about how naming things after yourself is a comically obvious symptom of paper-thin narcissistic megalomaniacal sundowning. (Swipe/scroll for more >)

Star Wars: the ICE Cut

This new edition of 1977’s classic Star Wars: A New Hope is just 14 minutes long, as Uncle Owen and Aunt Beru simply comply with the Stormtroopers and so are not killed in cold blood, thus saving the galaxy from years and years of rebellion and torment. (Swipe/scroll for more >)

Stay Safe Out There!

Whether you are stuck in the DC snow, living in Venezuela/Iran/Greenland or just peacefully heading home in Minneapolis, remember to stay safe out there. The only truly safe place in this world is ‘in the Epstein Files’. (Swipe/scroll for more >)

Mourning The ‘Bad Cop’ Character

Remember the ‘bad guy’ cops in 80s movies? Corrupt, incompetent, trigger-happy bullies who were often downright evil. We simply don’t see these characters in movies any more. Mostly that is because they’ve all been recruited by ICE and the CBP. (Swipe/scroll for more >)

Every Accusation Is A Confession

A two-hander, this play deals with the narcissistic urge to confess your crimes in broad daylight. “Iran is shooting peaceful protestors like some sort of Gestapo”, “Cuba is run by senile old men”, “Maduro is corrupt”. Jon Voight stars as President Trump and Sylvester Stallone’s discarded botox injections play Marco Rubio. (Swipe/scroll for more >)

The Architecture of the Trump Reich

An exhibition of the architectural wonders forthcoming under the new Welthauptstadt Washington, from the mighty Donald Josephine Trump Ballroom to Stephen Miller’s hollowed-out volcano lair. (Swipe/scroll for more >)

The Producers

We are pleased to announce the return of ‘The Producers’ (in either “20 days” or “2 months”, depending on which senile pronouncement you believe). The play about a play will this time feature ‘Springtime for Trump (& Greenland)”, and the collapse of NATO and the rules-based world order as an epilogue. (Swipe/scroll for more >)

Sleeping Beauty

A ballet about how a man’s long, slow blinking is accidentally mistaken for an elderly, unwell man falling asleep on his feet. Nurse! Nurse! Grandpa’s out of bed again.(Swipe/scroll for more >)

Credit Where Credit’s Due

An operetta about the fact that Pete Hegseth didn’t invite any journalists into the Signal chat this time. (Swipe/scroll for more >)

The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Arrest Warrant

An exhibition of outstanding International Arrest Warrants, featuring Nicolás Maduro, and only Nicolás Maduro. (Swipe/scroll for more >)

To End All Wars

A multi-media exhibition of themes from the New Times Bestseller, presented as farce, with narration by Marco Rubio (and a translation into Spanish by Nicolás Maduro). Sponsored by ExxonMobil. (Swipe/scroll for more >)

The Thin Red Line

Not the classic Terrence Malick movie about the War in the Pacific (bone spurs prevented us showing that) – this is about the aspirin-induced weakening of the blood/brain barrier that commonly leads to TIAs, strokes and frontotemporal dementia. (Swipe/scroll for more >)

Happy New Year!

We’re sorry we had to cancel our New Year’s Eve Concert, in its place we do have Rick Grenell playing the banjo piece from ‘Deliverance’. Time Zones sure are weird, it is already 2026 in Australia, still 2025 in Europe and 1937 here in D.C. (Swipe/scroll for more >)

Our New Signage

Some people have suggested the President’s job numbers (unemployment at 4.6%, the highest in 4 years) are very poor. But all we know is that we added three jobs just to put the new lettering up. (Swipe/scroll for more >)

Announcing the Bari Weiss Sculpture Garden

In honor of the protection of Free Speech*, the Bari Weiss Sculpture Garden will feature artworks of all the most famous Free Speech* warriors. From Ayn Rand and Russell Brand to Nick Fuentes and Candace Owens. No French allowed. (*by which we mean “speech we agree with”) (Swipe/scroll for more >)

Marble Armrests!

We’re thrilled to announce the introduction of marble armrests in all our seats. There truly is nothing like it. Because your comfort is absolutely the least of our concern. (Swipe/scroll for more >)

G.I. Jane

In this theatrical adaptation of the 1997 movie, Jane is forced to sit out combat training and given a job as a supply clerk where she orders $86M of erectile dysfunction drugs annually. Knocked up by her CO, she is then denied female reproductive healthcare. Because priapism is a national security issue, unwanted pregnancies are not. (Swipe/scroll for more >)

Paint It Black: The Art of Redaction

Redaction is ██████████, especially during the presidency of ██████████████, who we all know is in the ████████ Files doing some shady ███████. (Swipe/scroll for more >)

Stephen Miller: Ring Cycle

The White House Deputy Ubermensch conducts Wagner’s famous meisterwerk in concert with The Berliner Reichsorchester. (Swipe/scroll for more >)

Herrenvolk Agitprop

For 80 years this art form was criminally under-used. Our exhibition rejoices in the DHS’ and Department of Labor’s reintroduction of it. (Swipe/scroll for more >)

Gold & Marble: A Study In Taste

An exhibition of artists disproving the adage ‘money can’t buy taste’. From Gaddafi to the Saudi Royals, all the best taste involves an excess of marble and gilt. But no guilt.

Coming Soon…

– Leni Riefenstahl: Misunderstood Genius?
– Hillbilly Elegy: The Musical (with an epilogue dictated by Peter Thiel)
– Ted Nugent vs Kid Rock: An anthropological study into who has the most existentially philosophical lyrics.
Trump-KennedyCenter.org is a parody publication published by The Revolution Will Be Satirized under the parody & satire fair use carve-outs of free speech. It is evocative of the original, yet transformative, creative, makes political, free speech commentary and does in no way intend to pass off or substitute the original.
Why not Buy Us A Coffee, the support means a lot to us, and we have a feeling we'll have a few legal bills in the near-future.
See more here
Oh, and no, we're not Toby Morton, he's over at trumpkennedycenter.org.
The Revolution Will Be Satirized
  • Privacy Policy